Questions and Concerns

Q: Our son is terrified of the flushing toilet. The fear is ruining our potty training time!

A: This is a common concern that can sabotage potty training success.  Forcing the child to confront a fear like this head on is not a good idea and may turn fear into a phobia. For now leave the flushing until your son has left the room. Then over time let him get used to the noise from a distance, then from the doorway and so on until he can stand beside the toilet. When he is ready he can pull the lever himself. Also the sight of things disappearing down the drain can be upsetting in itself. Again be supportive and allow the child time to get used to the idea.  It may be easier to explain what exactly is happening to the waste and let the child bid it farewell! You can even let the child practice flushing without the actual waste but just with tissue paper. Make sure the child is aware this game cannot be played with car-keys or dollar bills!
Children are extremely resilient. They can adapt quickly to their environment and stressful situations, much better than adults. Making them aware that there is nothing to fear when you flush the toilet is the first step in winning this battle. Making flushing the toilet into a game would help him overcome this fear. This will take a bit of time and extra effort than normal but it will pass.

Q: When should we move our son from potty to toilet?

A: Your son may feel more secure on a lower potty than a high toilet so let him take the lead assuming the potty is generally working well.  Introduce him to the toilet on bathroom trips with you and try to develop his interest in the “grown-up” potty.

Allow him to initiate the move. Especially if he has a male role model, he will eventually make the first step in using the ‘big potty’ to try and imitate how a grown up uses the toilet.
He must also be physically able to reach and use the toilet comfortably. Buying an add-on child’s seat and/or a small step or ladder might help him to transition faster.

Some of the other questions we’ve received include:

 

Q: We are about to start potty training our son, should we get training pants straight away?

Q: My little boy turned 3 in April. He will not tell us when he needs to go for a pee or poo. He will pee in the toilet if he is reminded. He will start pooping in his pants and finish on the toilet if we catch him pooping otherwise he will poop in his pants. He does not care if he poops and pees in his pants. Please help.

Q: My son was completely potty trained at the age of 2 and a half. He would go pee and poo in the potty. He would ask me to go potty. We now have a little one on the way and I am afraid that my son has reverted back to the way he was before potty training. He is in preschool and he goes potty there but not at home. What should I do?

Q: We have just started potty training and our son refuses to go back to diapers and insists on pants all the time even though he is having lots of accidents and is walking around wet and worse!